Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Mary Nicole forever with Jesus

Yesterday our daughter would have been 20 years old! She lived for a day and a half. She was my first child. I was 2 weeks late having her and we had no idea when before her birth that she was going to have so many health issues, it was a total shock! I went in to be induced and ended up having a c-section.

Shortly after her birth she was taken to a hospital about an hour away. I only saw her a few minutes as I was waking up in recovery. I never did get to hold her because they had her ready for transportation. At that time the doctors were not aware just how sick she was. She had problems with all of her major organs. Jeff was so wonderful. He was torn between being with me and wanting to be with her, though he admitted months later he was scared to be there and watch her die.

A year later we went to visit the NICU that she was in. Jeff explained to the nurses our situation, that I just wanted to see where she was and they let us in. I was absolutely overwhelmed with the love those nurses showed me (and those babies in there). They reassured me that she was held as she died. That bothered me a long time thinking no one held her and was with her as she died, and that visit took care of those worries.

20 years ago today my daughter was welcomed into the arms of Jesus. It was a horrible, painful time for us here on earth and it changed us forever. I don't know why God chose for us to go through all of that, but it is a part of who we are today. I can honestly say it made us stronger as individuals and especially in our marriage. Life is precious and there is no promise of tomorrow on this side of heaven!

The 'experts' say she had a genetic disorder and that each time I got pregnant there would be a 1 in 4 chance of it happening again. Of course I was also advised seriously consider ever getting pregnant again and to consider 'termination' if there were problems. Yeah...right! Personally, I think it was the birth control pill. I stopped taking it and was pregnant a few days later. I am a STRONG opponent against the pill because of that and other reasons I have learned since then. That is another topic for another day!

As for today, I am thanking God for His MANY, undeserved blessings. I have the best husband ever, and he has allowed me to give birth to 3 more children...healthy, happy children!


Tammy said...

Thank you for sharing. I cannot imagine the pain you went through, but what a wonderful testimony of the grace of God!

Joyce's Ramblings said...

April 13,1953 I lost my first born. I never saw his face just his back. Isn't it strange that after over 50 years I can still picture his back. He lived for 2 hours. I know some don't understand the grief we feel but I understand the grief you are feeling today.
God Bless

Shelley Jo said...

The story of your daughter's short life touched me, Kathy. Just wanted you to know that.
Shelley Jo

greasy joan said...

Mary was so blessed to share your hearts, Kathy. Thank you for sharing this story.


Glenys Hicks said...

I understand your grief, as I lost identical twin girls at 32 weeks gestation. They were still-born. Hang on to the fact that Jesus is loving your daughter in your place until He calls you home. Praise God, you didn't stop believing and have been blessed with 3 more healthy children!


Kathy, Jeff's wife said...

It is so good to hear from you. I've missed you in the blogging world!

Thanks for commenting.

Anonymous said...

wow... amazing story. It sure touched me. Lost second child but it was early in the trimester. I understand about your grief with the pill. Mine almost gave me a heartattack! Glad I am off that crud. Thanks for sharing.

mom to 3 kiddos