Yesterday our daughter would have been 20 years old! She lived for a day and a half. She was my first child. I was 2 weeks late having her and we had no idea when before her birth that she was going to have so many health issues, it was a total shock! I went in to be induced and ended up having a c-section.
Shortly after her birth she was taken to a hospital about an hour away. I only saw her a few minutes as I was waking up in recovery. I never did get to hold her because they had her ready for transportation. At that time the doctors were not aware just how sick she was. She had problems with all of her major organs. Jeff was so wonderful. He was torn between being with me and wanting to be with her, though he admitted months later he was scared to be there and watch her die.
A year later we went to visit the NICU that she was in. Jeff explained to the nurses our situation, that I just wanted to see where she was and they let us in. I was absolutely overwhelmed with the love those nurses showed me (and those babies in there). They reassured me that she was held as she died. That bothered me a long time thinking no one held her and was with her as she died, and that visit took care of those worries.
20 years ago today my daughter was welcomed into the arms of Jesus. It was a horrible, painful time for us here on earth and it changed us forever. I don't know why God chose for us to go through all of that, but it is a part of who we are today. I can honestly say it made us stronger as individuals and especially in our marriage. Life is precious and there is no promise of tomorrow on this side of heaven!
The 'experts' say she had a genetic disorder and that each time I got pregnant there would be a 1 in 4 chance of it happening again. Of course I was also advised seriously consider ever getting pregnant again and to consider 'termination' if there were problems. Yeah...right! Personally, I think it was the birth control pill. I stopped taking it and was pregnant a few days later. I am a STRONG opponent against the pill because of that and other reasons I have learned since then. That is another topic for another day!
As for today, I am thanking God for His MANY, undeserved blessings. I have the best husband ever, and he has allowed me to give birth to 3 more children...healthy, happy children!