A Stubborn and Rebellious Woman

For I do not do what I want – instead, I do what I hate.

Romans 7

I woke up this morning with such a heaviness. Why in the world do I keep doing the things I know I should not do, and don't do what I should??? Why am I such a slow learner? Maybe I am not slow at all, perhaps I am just stubborn and rebellions!

As I dreaded getting out of bed this morning because I was wracked with guilt due to my bad behavior, I asked God to help me. As I am muddling through the day, striving to take my thoughts captive, because to be completely honest I'm still a bit mad, I am reminded of my own sin.

I am also reminded how the lessons I am working so hard to instill my children are the same lessons God is trying to get through my thick skull.

I tell my kids:

• It doesn't matter what everyone else is doing, this is what you are going to do.

• It doesn't matter if you understand the situation, you need to cheerfully obey me anyway. Someday you WILL understand.
  

• Delayed obedience is disobedience.

• The ends does NOT justify the means.

• Trust ME! I know what I am talking about!

• Don't pout because you are not getting your way!
  

• Love other people -even when they are unlovable.

• It's NOT ALL ABOUT YOU! Quit feeling sorry for yourself and get busy doing what God has for you to do today!
  

ALL of these statements are the same things God keeps engraving on my heart. I don't want them written with a soft lead that can easily be erased. I want them engraved deeply so that I can live in peace. Engraving is a deep and painful process, that can not be easily erased or written over.