Monday, May 12, 2008

Personal Responsibility VS Self

A very important character trait that we stress in our home is personal responsibility, which covers everything from picking up after yourself to not playing the blame game. As an adult I am still trying to learn this and by no means have we arrived.

This is really a tough one to teach because by nature we are pretty lazy, selfish people. No one likes to eat humble pie. We have a generation (or two) now where the majority have not been taught personal responsibility. Just look at the courts with dockets full of bankruptcy cases, no fault divorce cases, and people will sue at the drop of a hat if they think they'll get alittle something from it. It's always someone else's fault and we are the helpless victims. We even blame our parenting and marital problems on our parents lack of... whatever!

How often do we correct a child for saying or doing something they shouldn't, and they say, "Well he (or she) made me do it"? And we become frustrated as we explain yet again, "It doesn't matter what he did, YOU are not to_____ (hit, say ugly names, etc...)". Stressing personal responsibility!

The problem here is SELF. Self never wants to admit they are wrong, and IF they are wrong it is someone else's fault. Self never wants to say I'm sorry. Self must always look good infront of others. Self shall never be offended. ugh!

WE as parents need to teach our children to die to self so that SELF is crucified with Christ and they can grow up to be humble, kind, loving, CHRIST like people. The most effective way to teach this is to LIVE IT each day before them!


lilmamauv6 said...

Hello. I get what you are saying about taking responsibilty for actions. I do take offense to the bankruptcy example. I'm not sure if you have ever been through a bankruptcy from start to finish, but it's not the easy way out that it used to be. You do have to take responsibilty for your actions. You have to take classes for managing money, pay money that we don't have to actually get the lawyer, etc. My situation was medical bills that came to me before the law was passed about not rejecting women for insurance because they were already pregnant. I had a tubal pregnancy. The bills were outrageous. I didn't go buy things on credit cards etc. But, I am also not going to drive my car off of a bridge because of harrassing phone calls from debt collectors. People who go through a bankruptcy have to admit that they are wrong by taking the class to fix their thinking. To show them a way to manage money. That to me is admitting and taking ownership for not being able to pay bills that fall on people in hardship. Unlike a lot of people, I do not have family to fall back on. We have to pay bills on our own. So, I just believe that the example was misguided and uninformed. But, maybe you are thinking of the people who buy cars and jewelry and then suddenly realize they don't have the money. If that's the case, then maybe I shouldn't take it so personally. Huh? I love your blog otherwise. That one just touched a cord with me. Thanks for your time and the blog.

Kathy, Jeff's Wife said...

By no means did I intend to offend you. No, I have not gone through bankruptcy personally, but just about everyone in my family has and their situations were simply because they were living above their means. I know that not everyone that goes through bankruptcy is because of neglect, that there are hard situations like yours. I'll bet that was so hard on you, and I hope we never have to take that route, I was speaking in general. I guess I should have clarified that.

You touched on another issue, and that is having no family to help out. We are in the same boat. I have so many friends that have family to help in many ways, land at marriage, grandparents that help with music lessons, etc... I try not to be envious. ;o) But sadly our society is so SELF centered. I think we could learn alot if we looked at how the Amish live, and that is to take of each other (which includes church involvement) and not depend on government.

Insurance companies are awful to deal with, I know what you are talking about. We've had our go arounds with them.

I'm sorry to hear about your tubal, that is a dangerous and heartbreaking situation.

Thank you for your comments.

Anonymous said...

Thank you!