Monday, January 29, 2007


I help moderate a reversal group for Christian couples. I had a reversal 5 years ago so I know where these ladies are in their journey. Some of them are truly seeking God's will for their life. Sadly, some are worshiping the creation. I am not being critical of them, because I once walked that path, not only about having children, but about many other 'idols'. I use to think if I could only have this or do that, attend THIS workshop, be in THAT kind of church...the list goes on and on, that THEN I would be content, able to do what I needed. I won't spend your time confessing my sins, but I thought I'd share my reply to some recent post on our group where I see ladies struggling with accepting God's will and being content.


Our ULTIMATE goal should NOT be to have a baby. Our ultimate goal as Christians is to accept God's will with a heart of gratitude. Many, well... MOST of us will not conceive after a reversal, it is just a fact. Yes, there are many who DO, but not all. My reversal was 5 years ago. I've had one miscarriage (plus 2 surgeries). It took all those heart aches for me to realize that it was God whom I need to worship, the Almighty CREATOR, not His creation! Don't get me wrong, I long to have a baby and I can't wait for grandchildren now. I REGRET having my tubes tied, but God's mercy is great! I cannot dwell on my mistakes, but I can learn from them, live in today and look forward to tomorrow. Our HOPE, our JOY, our ALL HAS to be in God. If we have no more children then it is God's will. It does not mean He doesn't love us.

We can make all the plans in the world, but it is GOD who directs our footsteps. God knows our future, He knows what we need and what we don't. He knows what will make us more like Him. PLEASE, PLEASE put your focus on HIM. Whether He gives you 8 babies after a reversal or none, we have got to accept His will with rejoicing. MOST women on here just want one more baby with their latest husband, that is NOT what we are about. Shouldn't we all desire to stand before God and hear those words, "Well done good and faithful servant!" There is nothing wrong with hoping and waiting on the Lord, but we better be ready for HIS answer, not what WE THINK God will say!

Ladies, I've seen many women leave this group (and other groups) with bitter hearts because God did not grant them a reversal or later give them a baby in the expected time. Don't let His creations become your idol. Love God, wait on Him, and whatever He wills...thank Him for it! He is a good God!


HERE is our reversal story:


Dana said...

I had my tubes tied 3 years ago after two miscarriages. We'd only been married for two years and had no children. I had had a heart attack and bypass surgery after the first miscarriage. We had been trying for another pregnancy. Then the heart stuff happened. The day I had the heart attack I thought I might be pregnant. At the ER they did a pregnancy test. It was negative. Then they told me I'd had a heart attack. ANYWAY....the doctors told me that a pregnancy would be too hard on my heart and suggested the tubal. I put it off...and then found out I was pregnant. We heard the heartbeat...then I miscarried at 11 weeks. I had the tubal when they did the D&C. I cried and cried. We ended up becoming foster parents and have recently adopted two little girls (who are biological half maternal siblings). I can't imagine any other children except the one's God has sent to us. I know that with or without the tubal, I can still have a baby if that is what God wants. Tubals fail all the time. If God wants us to conceive, then we will. If not, we'll just keep on loving Him and raising our daughters to love Him too. Sorry I rambled so much, but this is a subject that is near and dear to my heart. I love your blog and read it every day!

Kathy, Jeff's wife said...

What a story you have Dana!!! Isn't it wonderful that God has given you two daughters. Our ways are not His ways.

Having a reversal is not for everyone. But having a heart seeking after God is for everybody that claims to be His!

Rejoicing with you and your family that God has brought together!

Thanks for commenting.

Shelley Jo said...

Well said, Kathy! My dh had a reversal in September after nearly 16 years. It is something we had been convicted about for over a decade and finally God provided a way for us to have it done financially. Part of me wants another baby; part of me doesn't. But I think that's a good thing because I'm not obsessing over it either way. We truly just wanted it to be in GOD'S hands, not ours. Whatever HE wants is what we want.