Monday, September 28, 2009

You Don't Always Get What You Want

I counsel with women that have had reversals. This is my common advice to those that do not conceive:

I had my reversal in 2002 (over 7 years ago). I have had one miscarriage. I will turn 44 this week, more than likely I will have no more children.

Not everyone that has a reversal will have more babies, no matter how old you are, no matter how good your HSG is, no matter how careful you are to chart, etc... My reversal doctor has a high success rate, but it is not 100%, no one has that. It is not always someone's "fault" if there is no conception.

Our ability to conceive is up to God, after all OUR INTERFERING with our fertility is what got all of us in this mess to start with.


If God chooses not to give us more children, it DOES NOT mean that He loves us any less.

It has been a VERY, VERY LONG AND HARD road for me to learn the lesson of contentment; to learn that my life is all about submitting to His will, not about me being happy! Once I learn that lesson in one area of my life, He teaches it to me in another area.

I LONG for more children, but I long even more so to greet God face to face one day and hear, "Well done good and FAITHFUL servant". That means I take one day at a time, doing what He has put before me with a spirit of gratitude, rather than resentment and pouting.

I can honestly say I am a better person (more humble, kind, focused) because God has chosen NOT to give me more babies. Do I understand this? No! Do I trust Him? YES!

It's all a journey, with lots of bumps in the road, but that is what causes us to cling even tighter to Him!


Dana said...

My inability to have children is what lead us (through God, of course) to become foster parents, and then to adopt.

I am now actually thankful that I couldn't have children because I wouldn't have my two beautiful daughters otherwise. (I know that sounds crazy, because I'd have loved biological children just as much.)

I also want more children. We were at a family reunion on Friday and one of my cousins (who is only 21 and I am 45) has a newborn daughter. I knew that if I held that baby I'd want another one! Sure enough, that's what happened.

If God wants us to be parents to more children, we believe He will cause it to happen. If He does, that's great. If He doesn't, then I'm ok with that, too.


Jeremiah and Stephenie said...

Contentment is such a hard lesson for me to learn. I am like you in that once I learn the lesson I need to learn in one area there is always another area where I need to grow, trust and depend on HIM more. We have not walked through the road of infertility, however, we have had two miscarriages and there are a lot of lessons learned through that. Christ is really all we need and even if He were all we had, it would be enough.

Thank you for sharing your heart. I have been asking God lately to teach me to be content regardless of how I feel or the circumstances I am in.